he comes to me through songs

"to be alone with you"

I'd swim across lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes
I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room

To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you

You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes
You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your goals

To be alone with me
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

To be alone with me you went up on the tree

I'll never know the man who loved me

-sufjan stevens

the view we both love

the sky was beautiful today.
i cant wait for us to watch clouds together again :) sofia and i walked down fifth avenue with our necks turned up to the sky to watch them. no one ran into us over the course of the block, maybe they knew we were watching the clouds for you. we smiled.

my lines (a letter to a friend)

dear XXXXX.

life is short and should be sweet.

this past week was a long one
full of realizations for me.

wow.
the incident with rodney was such a scare.
to imagine my life with out him....
the thought alone is enough to well my eyes up with tears.

i am grateful to have sweetness in my life.
i am grateful.
i realize that i have worked hard to create this for myself.

sweetness, love, grace, kindness, support, truth, is a great gift when received.

acceptance
to allow these to move in and out of my life with appreciation.

part of the puzzle for me is balance.
how do i maintain this flow
what do i give of myself to this world so that it continues to give back?

fine lines

ha
ha
i just had a realization
fine lines on a face
i don't want fine lines on my face

maybe thats the key to my puzzle

hmmm...

so back to my thoughts
i guess the fine lines are more clear when i think about the potential of them on my own face.

love
i love loves love

love keeps me young
i am aware of its test

i should give of myself to those that nurture.
who hold my gift
within their hands and hearts as if to accept my beauty as their own

my fine line.
it is ok to give my heart
out and away with each breath.

it is ok.

if stored in a safe sacred space by those whom i give it to
it is ok
it will be ok

and i smile

who accepts?
who appreciates?
who returns?

i know.
i see.
i remember these things.

and so

i love
i give

my lines are clear.